Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Supportive Husbands (pg mention)



I have been reading a lot (and I mean a lot) of blogs lately since I've started this IVF process. There are a couple in particular that mention their unsupportive husbands. I can't believe some of the stuff I have read. It has been down right sad. I can see if it was a situation like mine. We have other children and I want to add to our family. Some would say we have enough children and my husband could argue the same and then not want to go through the IVF or TTC process. But these women are TTC#1 and I would think that a husband would understand a woman's need to procreate and if they agreed to try before why change your mind now. It breaks my heart to read their stories. I understand how I feel about wanting more children and I know what goes through my mind when I'm invited to baby showers or hear about some stupid teenager that got knocked up and think she wants to play house. But for someone who don't have other children at home, who has been trying and suffering miscarriages and years of BPN, it must be devastating.

I talked to my husband about a couple of the things I read and asked "If I wanted more kids and you really weren't on board, would you still support me." His response was "Yes because I see how badly you want it, how can I say no." He admitted that he really don't want more kids (we have 3 of our own and 1 foster) but this is something I have felt so strongly about for years now, how could he deny me what I have been feeling. I was very grateful for his honestly and also thanked him for being here for me. For those that are not only are struggling with infertility and an unsupportive spouse, all I can say is my heart goes out to you. I wish things could be better and maybe (don't hate me for saying this) your husband is a tad too selfish to stay married to. IMHO of course.

2 comments:

  1. I always have to wonder if there is a deeper issue at hand when the hubby is unsupportive. Also, what a potential for resentment when the wife goes ahead anyways.

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  2. Your husband does sound supportive. My husband was the same. He would have stopped with our twins, but once he realized how badly I needed another baby, he agreed. Now he can't imagine our lives without all three of these amazing creatures! :-)

    Fingers crossed for you!

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