Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Am I Selfish or Just Judgmental (child ment.)

I have briefly mentioned having other children but I don't really go into detail out of respect for those that don't have any yet. Today, however I have to give background information to get to my point. My 7-year old daughter is a very kind-hearted child. She loves babies and is one of the reasons why it's hard for me to get over my need for another. She is always asking for a baby sister or brother, tries to hold other people children, and hounds me constantly about babysitting other family members kids. She loves babies. Ironically, if you ask her she don't want any kids of her own. 

I started recording Make Room for Multiples on my DVR for her and we watch it together. (Yes I know it's torture for me) One of the episodes I watched yesterday (we watched 4) had a lady that had a 3-year old son (conceived naturally), a 21-month old daughter (conceived from clomid) and was now about to have triplets (conceived by IUI). Don't seem to bad, right. Well not to me. Her 21-month old has spinal bifida and requires constant care. According to Wikipedia. these are the physical symptoms: 

Physical signs of spina bifida may include:
  • Leg weakness and paralysis
  • Orthopedic abnormalities (i.e., club foot, hip dislocation, scoliosis)
  • Bladder and bowel control problems, including incontinence, urinary tract infections, and poor renal function
  • Latex allergy
  • Pressure sores and skin irritations
  • Abnormal eye movement

My bleeding heart (and judgmental mind) feels that if the mom wanted more, she really should have waited a few years to get her bearings on the two she had before bringing any more in the mix. The 21-month old will have a lifetime of problems and may never function on her own. But then that started me thinking about my own wants over needs and my selfish quest for another baby. My oldest is 15. He is about to be a junior in high school and will have his first prom, want to go to driving school and get a car. Next year he will be a senior with class dues, prom, graduation, college application fees. My two daughters are 7 and 9. They are growing like weeds and are girly girls who want pretty frilly clothing and shoes to match. They all have sports (football, cheerleading, karate). My middle child loves taking art classes, sees a reading tutor and wears (overpriced) glasses. Do I really want to add a new baby or babies to our household, where? Adding a new baby is costly too. There is purchasing of equipment and clothing, not to mention newborn daycare rates are a monster. We are doing ok financially but any little economy twist or turn could change that. Right now, at the end of the day, our bills are paid but one never knows what's around the corner. 

I can walk away with either lesson learned from that show, 1) Don't stress your hand if you don't need to or 2) Things will work out if you have faith. I don't know what happen to that mom after the camera stopped rolling. I don't know if today she's got everything all balanced out and each kid is decently taken care of or if she has lost it and the special needs child is the one suffering. I know I need to take, yet another, look at my plans and really make sure an addition or additions will be right for my family and not just for my own selfish needs. But most importantly, I don't know if I was bothered by the show because secretly I am selfish and just recognized my actions or if I'm just judgmental and need to just sit back and watch the show and mind my own business.

1 comment:

  1. I often subject myself to those shows also. A Baby Story is one of my favorites.